In a world that often equates masculinity with success, strength, and silent suffering, Mark Gogolewski’s “How to Be OK: (When You’re Supposed to Be OK But You’re Not)”, offers a much-needed breath of fresh air. This is not your typical self-help book that preaches productivity hacks or the next level of peak performance. Instead, it’s an honest, vulnerable, and necessary conversation about what it truly means to be a man—and why so many successful men still feel empty inside.

Recently I had a discussion with some men, and we opened up how as “men” we go through life so much different then women. The hurts we experience are often the “little boy” crying out for something missing. I empathize with this.

The Hidden Wounds of High-Achieving Men

Gogolewski doesn’t shy away from addressing the deeply ingrained struggles that many men face but rarely talk about. The “father wound,” the relentless work ethic used to numb pain, and the self-inflicted cycles of addiction—whether to success, substances, or distractions—are all examined with refreshing clarity.

Many men who seem to “have it all” on the outside—status, money, power—carry internal scars they don’t know how to heal. The book acknowledges this reality and, more importantly, offers a path toward something greater than just more achievement: self-acceptance.

Beyond Performance: The Journey to Being OK

One of the most powerful aspects of this book is that it shifts the focus from doing to being. It’s not a blueprint for becoming more efficient or optimizing your life. Instead, it’s an invitation to sit with yourself—to finally acknowledge the pain, the loss, and the trade-offs that came with the pursuit of success.

Gogolewski’s own story is proof that there is life beyond burnout. He built everything, lost everything, and in the process, discovered something far more valuable: peace. His journey serves as a guide for other men who are ready to stop performing and start healing.

Who Should Read This Book?

• Men who have achieved success but feel unfulfilled.
• High performers who struggle with inner wounds they don’t know how to address.
• Anyone looking for a raw, honest perspective on masculinity and self-acceptance.

This book isn’t just for men—it’s for anyone who wants to understand the pressures that modern masculinity places on men and why healing matters.

Final Thoughts: A Must-Read for the Modern Man

How to Be OK: (When You’re Supposed to Be OK But You’re Not), is more than just a book; it’s a permission slip for men to be human. In a society that rewards relentless ambition while punishing vulnerability, Gogolewski’s message is a radical act of self-compassion.

If you or someone you know has ever felt the pressure to be “OK” when they aren’t, this book is the reminder that they don’t have to carry that burden alone.