In this special live interview hosted by Ramon Ray, Claude Silver — Chief Heart Officer at VaynerX and longtime collaborator with Gary Vaynerchuk — sat down to talk about her new book Be Yourself at Work. Joined by a panel of entrepreneurs including Kedma Ough (President, NinjaVA), Alexandria Nicole (business consultant and founder of Elevate Your Growth), and Tina Wilson (health and life coach), Claude opened up about the emotional side of leadership, how to build a culture rooted in empathy, and why being yourself at work isn’t just nice — it’s necessary.
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Key Takeaways
- Authenticity is a leadership superpower. Pretending to be someone you’re not wastes energy and erodes trust.
- Emotion belongs at work. Understanding your emotional triggers and showing up authentically improves communication and performance.
- Empathy and boundaries go hand in hand. Leading with compassion doesn’t mean fixing people’s problems; it means walking beside them.
- Trauma is real in the workplace. Leaders must cultivate awareness and teach self-regulation, not avoidance.
- Retention depends on connection. As Claude says, “There is no retention without connection.”
Why Claude Wrote Be Yourself at Work
Claude explained she wrote the book both as a personal challenge and a professional mission. She began drafting it during the pandemic after realizing how many people hide or shrink at work. Having witnessed burnout and emotional disconnection across industries, she wanted to create a roadmap to help people show up more fully.
“I’ve seen so many people feel they have to hide themselves to belong. That’s not how work should feel.”
The Role of Emotion at Work
Ramon asked why Claude emphasized emotion in her book. She said society trains workers to “clock in, clock out” and suppress feelings, but emotions are data, not danger.
“We’re emotional beings. Locking that up is like adding weight to a backpack we carry every day.”
She encouraged leaders to regulate emotions, not repress them — acknowledging feelings while expressing them responsibly.
Stop Pretending to Be Someone You’re Not
Claude discussed how much energy people waste trying to act like others. Ramon related to the temptation of emulating figures like Seth Godin or Gary Vaynerchuk. Claude agreed admiration is fine, but imitation is exhausting.
“It took me years to want to be Claude. Pretending to be someone else is a waste of energy.”
00:17 – Panel Question: How to Balance Vulnerability and Boundaries
Tina Wilson asked how to let people express themselves without oversharing in meetings. Claude said the key is coaching people on healthy boundaries.
“When people share too much, they often want to be taken care of. You can walk beside them, but you can’t fix them.”
She suggested affirming their worth while helping them understand what’s appropriate to share at work.
Panel Question: Dealing with Trauma at Work
Kedma Ough raised how unhealed trauma affects workplace dynamics. Claude called this the “walking wounded” reality of modern work.
“Self-awareness can be taught, but each person must go on their own journey.”
Claude described exercises from her book, including her “lie exercise,” which helps people replace negative self-talk (“I’m dumb”) with empowering truths (“I’m a different kind of learner”).
Empathy in Action at VaynerX
Alexandria Nicole asked if empathy ever created transformation at VaynerMedia. Claude shared examples of handling tough layoffs and parental challenges with grace.
“Empathy isn’t taking on someone’s pain. It’s walking beside them and saying, ‘I got you, and you got this.’”
VaynerX’s alumni program ensures that when employees leave, they stay connected to new opportunities — a model for empathetic off-boarding.
On Labels and Their Damage
Ramon asked about labels like “low performer.” Claude warned how easily labels stick and define people unfairly.
“We label people ‘underperformers’ and then expect miracles. What happens if that person heard it?”
Instead of labeling, she said, leaders should get curious about what drives each individual and the context behind their performance.
Employee Surveys and Safety
Kedma pointed out how corporate surveys rarely feel safe. Claude agreed.
“Don’t hide behind anonymous surveys. Talk to people. Safety is built through relationships, not spreadsheets.”
She emphasized high-touch leadership — actually checking in with team members face-to-face.
How Claude Refuels Herself
Stars Tina asked how Claude maintains her own energy. Claude shared that she’s a “situational extrovert,” recharging through solitude, meditation, and family time.
“The work I do is spiritual work for me. But I also need quiet time. I know what I need now — I didn’t 20 years ago.”
Building a Culture of Care
Alexandria Nicole asked how Claude fosters belonging. Claude explained that from onboarding, new hires experience connection, empathy, and “culture champions” — people across offices trained to check in on others.
“Care, compassion, and candor — that’s where it starts. These aren’t slogans on walls; they have to be lived daily.”
Claude’s Final Message: Be the CEO of You
Claude closed by summarizing Be Yourself at Work as a three-part roadmap:
- You as the CEO of You – self-awareness and breaking limiting beliefs.
- You on a Team – developing EQ and navigating conflict.
- You as a Leader – building culture and cultivating connection.
“Crisis doesn’t create character. It reveals it.”
Message to Entrepreneurs and Founders
Ramon asked Claude to speak directly to founders under pressure. Her message was clear:
“There is no retention without connection. You can’t just grind forever. You owe it to yourself — and your team — to build human connection.”
Closing Thoughts
Claude Silver’s message resonates far beyond HR departments. Be Yourself at Work isn’t a “soft skills” manual — it’s a framework for sustainable leadership. Her insights remind entrepreneurs that empathy isn’t weakness; it’s a competitive advantage. Building emotionally intelligent cultures doesn’t slow business down — it helps it endure.